


Dust Is Forever (Skywalker Means Home)

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars
Genre: Sexual Assault, Trans Anakin Skywalker, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transgender Anakin Skywalker, Tw: pedophilia, anakin doesn't know a lot about the way ppl function, obi wan is a Tiny bit stupid, references to slavery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 07:39:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Anakin is trans and this is kind of a overview of how that may work out in the original plot.TW for sexual assault on a minor, albeit brief and implied, but it will be referenced probably more then once throughout the story.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Sexual assault on a minor   
> Written by a trans trauma survivor, so not some creepy fetish fic.

Anakin remembers the dust more then anything about his childhood. Sand was everywhere; but dust was everything, a constant in his life he could never avoid.

Anakin remembers one of the first days he had been expected to work in the shop. Shmi had worked so hard to get him looking nice and they had been rehearsing his manners each night- but still the boy came home coated in dust, as did she.

Names meant a lot on this planet. Especially when Anakin could be sold away from his loving mother at any point, he could rest easy knowing that he was a Skywalker, Skywalker meant safety. That's why Shmi was shocked when her son wanted to be called Anakin, not Ani, and for a full year he was very insistent that he wanted the full name, not the short version. However, after nobody got it right, the boy had stopped crying about it. His mother would inevitably just try his tears and gently remind him that he couldn't waste water that freely.

There were a few days when Anakin would know he had to work in the shop and go home alone because his mother would be out trading. How was a boy his age supposed to know that the masters weren't meant to follow him home? Skywalker meant safety, and when Shmi wasn't there, Anakin was all but safe.

To this day he remembers the cold walls of the shop, pressed up against his cheek, and he longs to forever rid the dusty taste from his mind that would clog his mouth while Shmi was somehow cruelly coddled in oblivion. 

When the Jedi had arrived, Anakin was sore and aching all over but always as eager as ever to help. His heart went to the life size angel he had only dreamt of, and the kindness of strangers wasn't given away easily on the dust bowl. Having been raised better then to leave a favor unreturned, he would race for his freedom.

Entering the race was hard enough as it was, as a child, but it was even harder to make them fill out his racing information correctly. He simply wanted to be called Anakin, but they said the races weren't made for little girls like him, and when he told them they were wrong on so many levels he got ignored until his determination got him a place.

Once he'd won, he was free from his chains, but how could he leave his mother? The woman who so gently taught him that if he wanted people to call him Anakin, he would have to be careful. She told him what he had to do when the bleeding started, she taught him all that she could, but her little Ani was leaving home, and she could only hope that one day her son would come back.

Qui-Gon had never realized that Anakin hadn't always been the bright hearted little boy, he never got the chance; Obi-Wan didn't know for a long time, because there are only a few things Anakin took from the dust.

1\. Names matter. His mother had said that Anakin meant fighter. And Skywalker meant home.  
2\. Sometimes it's better not to tell people about things that might hurt them. Anakin would let the bad men take him away every day if his mother could be happy for one.  
3\. Dust is permanent. Dust is forever.


	2. Obi-Wan

When Anakin is twelve, he starts changing in ways he never knew would happen. And they aren't exactly welcome.

The first thing that happens is that his hips become more pronounced. At first he was rather proud, that his training is paying off and finally showing and giving him some shape. But then he notices the curves of his fellow Padawans, and he realized fairly quickly that these were not the curves he wanted.

But the breasts quickly became his number one concern. It was such a gradual shift that he only noticed them when they became real, when they jutted out of his chest, and they scared him. So what could he do? He tore his tunic and fashioned it tightly around his chest, vowing to wear it for every time he had to leave his home.

This worked for a year or two. Living in utter secrecy, avoiding the doctors, hiding away from his worried master, until he woke up in a pool of his own blood and he couldn't mask the initial terror which jostled Obi-Wan and had the older man running into the room.

"Anakin?" The disgruntled cry tore itself from Obi-Wan in his groggy panic for his student. Anakin was shaking, bandages wrapped tight around his torso, and bleeding heavily through his sleeping tunic and seeping into the bed. Naturally, Obi-Wan cursed and ran to lift Anakin up.

"Master, don't-" Anakin wheezed, quite frankly hysterical and out of breath from sleeping with his makeshift binder on. "- worry, I will be fine, just- let me handle it-" and while Obi-Wan could say the boy was giving it his best shot, it wasn't good enough. His student was hurt.

Obi-Wan's first instinct was to carry Anakin somewhere clean and get those bandages off, and Anakin wasn't put together enough to answer, so he runs out into their common area and lays Anakin on the table. He strips off the outer layer of robes, trying to calm his unruly Padawan and get to the root of the problem.

"Kriffing hells, Anakin, stop! I need to- to, to-" the bandages had come off. Which, much to Anakin's horror, had two red and irritated but round breasts hanging down in front of Obi-Wan.

The first thing out of his mouth was a stuttered apology before he stepped back, averting his gaze. He didn't understand, couldn't fathom what was happening until Anakin was already up and running to the bathroom. Torn between contacting the healers, and dealing with the situation himself, Obi-Wan decided with the latter for the sake of his padawan. He gathered Anakin's bloodied sheets as the water in the 'fresher turned on, presumably meaning Anakin would be taking a bath. Obi-Wan knew better then to waste time cleaning the sheets, the blood on cream never coming out, and chucked them down the trash shoot. Another pair would just be better.

When Anakin came out, he was simply wrapped in a towel from his chest to mid thigh. His emotions through the force were incredibly unreadable, as was his face. "Well?" He mustered, staring down his master. "What will it be? Should I pack my things?"

"No!" Obi-Wan said immediately, eyes going even wider then they already were. "So, Anakin, uh-" the room was frozen in an awkward silence. Obi-Wan didn't exactly know how to treat the situation.

"I'm still Anakin," the younger man said after he realized he could actually move the tension with the Force like a tactile object. "Just- I- I was born-"

"A woman?" His master finished, and Anakin cringed hard, his hurt showing. "Sorry, I don't know how to-"

"In the wrong skin." Anakin corrected shakily. "Will you be telling anyone?" This was a secret, Obi-Wan reminded himself. A secret for Anakin. Highly against everything in the code. He shook his head. He could keep it. Anakin nodded and his fragile form seemed just a little more at ease. He was still Anakin. Nothing had changed.

"Can I, uh, be alone?" Anakin asked sheepishly. "I'd be willing to talk of this later but right now I- I would like to just rest if that's okay."

Obi-Wan nodded eagerly, wanting time to meditate on this. He released his anxiety into the Force... for the most part. Anakin went to sit and his master retreated into their common area.

When Anakin emerged, he was not tightly bound at the chest as he was before, but in training tunic. He wasn't binding, and he had a pale, shaky appearance. Not a lot ever scared his Padawan, but Obi-Wan's hatred was a thing he considered close to expulsion. The teacher could feel his student's anxiety through their bond.

"Are you alright?" Obi-Wan began, looking at Anakin nervously. Anakin nodded, not saying anything in return. "Uhm..." Obi-Wan exhaled shakily. "I don't see you any differently."

Disbelief hit Anakin like a shockwave. Obi-Wan ached. "You're still my Padawan. You're the person you've always been." The prepubescent nodded through Obi-Wan's speech before tackling him a hug. 

They never really talked about it, persay. Obi-Wan talked to the healers, and soon Anakin was taking blockers. Then hormones.

Obi-Wan talked to the Council for his padawan. Defended him. Stood by him.

Obi-Wan was a true brother to Anakin.


End file.
